In my youth, like many others, I used to smoke cigarettes and drink alcohol. When I met Mohanji, I lost the desire to do so and felt much clearer and more energized without it.
Eight years later, just a few months ago, I still had no desire to smoke or drink, but I began having dreams where I was holding many cigarettes in both of my hands, between all my fingers, and smoking them all at once, as if it was my biggest desire. It seemed as if I had an endless craving for it. Upon waking up, I would always dismiss these dreams. They didn't awaken any real desire in me. But as the dreams began to repeat, I wondered what they meant.
The last time when I had such a dream, I dreamt of smoking mint-flavored cigarettes. When I used to be a smoker, I really liked this flavor. I woke up after that dream, opened my phone, and received a notification that my favorite Russian singer had announced a new song called "Mint-flavored Cigarettes." What are the odds? It was really shocking. This synchronicity made me wonder if I had some suppressed deep karmic longing for cigarettes, even though I wasn't conscious of it.
Months passed, and one day, I felt a desire for cigarettes and then for alcohol. Knowing that negative energies and entities can sometimes awaken such thoughts in us, I didn't act on it. Initially, the desires weren't very strong, but over time, they grew stronger.
When Mohanji came to Serbia, the desire became very strong. I decided to tell him about it out of surrender. I did it during breakfast, and he suggested that if the desires were becoming a real pressure for me, I could fulfill them moderately. He emphasized, "But don’t become a smoker." I must say that when someone else asked Mohanji about a similar addiction, he said not to do it. It is a case-by-case thing.
Mohanji explains that when we are on a spiritual path and connected to true masters, some desires can drop off on their own, but some desires sometimes need moderate fulfillment. He doesn’t encourage drinking and smoking ever, but my case was different because I had a hidden craving. He displays understanding towards everybody and wants the best for everyone. He never denies anybody anything, and he never judges. He believes the only truly wrong thing is violence (towards oneself or others) because it breeds more violence.
I thanked Mohanji from the depth of my heart for always understanding me and never judging me. He soon left Serbia. I didn't act on my desires immediately. I took some time.
Around a month after Mohanji's visit to Serbia, my brother organized a graduation party at our house. I saw this as a chance to fulfill my desires, as they were definitely not diminishing. I was fully conscious while indulging, aware that Mohanji does not support drinking and smoking under normal circumstances. His guidance was a rare, individual exception to ensure I didn't suppress my desires. The Raja Yoga path that Mohanji represents is to take people out of their binding patterns and set them free from the clutches of their mind.
That night, we had a great time until sunrise. I felt so much fulfillment and happiness during the whole party. I felt I was continuously in a bubble of Mohanji's energy. I drank a few bottles of light beer and smoked around 15 or more cigarettes. Since I hadn't touched alcohol and cigarettes for eight years, this hit me hard, but I was really satisfied. We stayed until around 5 in the morning.
Preparing for bed at 5 AM, I started thinking that I would surely feel horrible the next day. I usually don't attend post-midnight parties or stay up this late, but when I do, the next day, without exception, I always feel some level of emotional instability, guilt, or anxiety, and I also lack energy in my body.
The morning after the party, I woke up earlier than I expected, despite going to bed at 5 AM. This was the first surprise. I immediately knew it was Mohanji who gave me this extra energy.
We had many guests sleeping in our house that day, so I quickly ran to the shower before it got occupied. While showering, I suddenly became aware of my inner feelings. I had no guilt, anxiety, or lack of energy. Bliss. My mind was clear, my heart calm, and my stomach strong and at peace. I literally felt like I had received a hundred Mai-Tri healings. This is impossible after a night full of filling my body with toxins. While showering, with my inner eye, I saw a vision that Mohanji cleansed my whole body on a cellular level while I was sleeping.
I rushed to tell Djurdja about it, who had slept at my place that night. She had just woken up and told me she had a dream of Mohanji, me, and her. In the dream, Mohanji touched the back of our heads, as if giving us Shaktipat. She had this dream exactly when I was showering, when I had my own vision. I realized this is the reason why I felt so good - he healed me remotely, and Djurdja's dream wasn't just a dream, it was a reality.
His miracles and compassion have no end. Not only did he give me fulfillment, but he also gave me protection and healing so that I went through this experience in the best possible way. I would normally expect to feel toxic after filling up my body with smoke and alcohol, but instead, I was fueled with blissfulness, as if I had spent the entire night in a spa or in a beautiful temple.
Mohanji offers fulfillment to every true seeker. He will not go around fulfilling the desires of all people, but if we are truly sincere, he will help if something strongly stands in the way of our fulfillment and liberation. Even seemingly harmful desires can be addressed with his guidance. I have to repeat again that Mohanji does not support the use of any substance that decreases awareness, as the path of Raja Yoga is about raising awareness, not decreasing it.
I still cannot believe Mohanji did this for me. He made me go through what I wanted and gave me a wonderful night with my brother and friends.
I want to conclude the story by returning to the part when Mohanji told me, “But don’t become a smoker.” He knew that the desire for smoking originated from many lifetimes ago and could easily drag me back into smoking, harming my spiritual path. This is why I would never experiment with cigarettes after eight years of non-smoking without his direct guidance that it was safe to do so. With his guidance, I knew he would hold my hand through it. I knew it was a very slippery field.
Another important lesson follows.
The day after the party, when my friends were leaving, something inside of me hoped they would forget a few cigarettes at my home. I was surprised to see signs of addiction in me because I was never an addict to cigarettes before, even when I smoked in my youth. I realized it would be a mistake to smoke again, because one night was enough to moderately fulfill my desire as Mohanji had suggested. This made me realize that Mohanji predicted the appearance of addictive feelings, which is why he said, "But don't become a smoker". At the time when he said it, I thought, "Of course I won't, I was never an addict." But he knew exactly what he was saying.
A big lesson from this is that we, as humans, have patterns. When a master is trying to pull us out of them, we must give our best too. As Mohanji says, "You take one step, and I will take 100." He really means it. He gave me everything he could possibly give me to enjoy that whole night and get rid of the desire at least half or more, but the rest was on me. Buying a new packet of cigarettes the next day pulled me a lot. And the next day. And the next. But sometimes we need to stay really strong. We need to hold Mohanji's hand tightly, and he will make sure we reach our destination. Stay put and hold on. Just hold onto his hand. He will never let go of ours, but we also need to make sure we don't let go of his.
Mohanji, I offer you my deepest love and gratitude!
Beautiful and inspiring, as always. Keep shinning bright Mina 💛💫