My Past Lives with Mohanji

A few years ago, Mohanji asked me, “Are you remembering your past lives yet?” I told him I wasn’t and that I didn’t want to. I knew that such memories can stir unnecessary emotions and drama that might distract a person from their current life. And the present life is the most important one. Even though past lives are real, they are only relevant if they hold value for this moment. Otherwise, they are irrelevant. As Mohanji says, “We should not be a hangover from the past.” 😀

Soon after that conversation with Mohanji, without asking for it, without desiring it, I began to remember. The memories came gently at first, and then more vividly, like pieces of a puzzle falling into place. Why did it happen? I wondered, too. Because those memories carried meaning and relevance for my current life. They shaped me and brought me a lot of maturity. They helped me become who I am today. If they were harmful or distracting, I know Mohanji would have stopped them from coming to me. But they brought healing, not harm.

Below are some of the memories that came to me, along with the lessons behind them.

Disclaimer: I am not trying to prove anything here, past lives cannot be proved anyway. You can only accept or reject my experience. I decided to write this only because it carries many important messages and brings a lot of clarity about Mohanji’s current birth and purpose.

Between lives: The longing to hug Him

One of my first memories of my past lives came to me in a dream.

I saw Mohanji at an airport, surrounded by a few people. He was greeting them with warm hugs. I stood nearby, feeling like part of the group. I thought it was my turn to hug him. I moved toward him with open arms, but to my shock, my arms went right through his body. That’s when I realized: I didn’t have a physical body. I was just an energy being.

A deep grief washed over me. I cried desperately, craving for the human experience of hugging him. That simple, that longing tore through my heart. And yes, I cried as an energy being right next to physical humans. That is possible, too. This taught me a lot – entities exist just like this, without bodies, but with the same desires and emotions as regular humans.

Later, I understood: this was a memory of the time just before my current birth. Mohanji’s form was that of this life, and he was younger. The age difference between Mohanji and me is 33. The age of Jesus. That longing to hug him was one of the core desires that pulled me into this incarnation.

When I shared this vision with Mohanji, many years ago, he said that perhaps one of the main reasons for this birth was to fulfill that desire. When I was born in this life, that feeling that I needed to find someone stayed with me, and I felt it from a very early age.

I clearly remember that, as a child, I often felt like I was looking for someone, someone exactly around Mohanji’s age. I didn’t know who it was, but I remember it was always a strong feeling that somewhere, somebody very important to me was existing, and I needed to find them.

I remember when I was around seven years old, I was sitting outside with my parents and neighbours, and I had this odd, persistent feeling that I needed to find that “somebody”. Only when I met Mohanji, that feeling settled. I never felt that empty gap inside, ever again.

I never knew I was looking for a guru per se, I never knew it would be a guru. But I have only been feeling that it was somebody very important who will make me happy. I already had a good childhood, but I still felt this. After meeting Mohanji, he only kept doing everything to make me happy, fulfilling all my desires, making me content and stable. He gave me things I never thought I would have, including the experience of cosmic consciousness.

The Eastern Europe memory: When Mohanji became the Father of the forgotten, and baked bread for the homeless

I had a long, vivid vision, almost like a film.

I saw myself as a young woman running through an abandoned building, terrified, trying to escape a group of military officers. They eventually caught me. What followed was horrifying – multiple men assaulted me. The fear was beyond words.

Mohanji found me after this, completely shattered. He was an old man, around 80 years old. He took me to a large house where many others lived. It was a safe heavenly haven. Men, women, and children were all rescued by him, just like me. In this house, he was baking bread for everyone. He created life and warmth for those who were left behind. He lived with them like a common man and left everything to us when he died, as if he had owned nothing at all. In that life, he travelled a lot by foot, too.

In this life, I’ve experienced the same compassion from Mohanji, and many similarities to that life:

1. In this life, too, he hired a lawyer to legally leave all his belongings to the people closely connected to him, who stood by him for years. This was an incredible act because no guru or master has ever done this, in the entire world, ever. This happened around 2018. The lawyer was confused, thinking how to do it, because nobody has ever done this before. All people leave their belongings to their immediate families, but Mohanji decided to leave it to his global family as equally as to Devi and Mila (his spouse and daughter). I believe many will find out about this act only after Mohanji passes, and the world will remember him for it.

2. In this life, too, just like in that life, Mohanji loves to feed people more than anything, even more than going to temples. In that life, he was baking bread for dozens, in this life, he feeds hundreds of thousands.

3. Just like Mohanji’s house in that life belonged to others more than him, Mohanji’s private house in his current life, or even his centers all around the world, never feel like they belong to him – they belong to those who stay there, more than him. He gives everything without asking for anything in return. Whenever I stayed in his private house, I was free to open the fridge, to take what I needed, to feel at home. Nobody ever asked me anything, such as – where did I come from, why am I there, how long am I going to stay. His compassion doesn’t know boundaries. In that life, he shared a house, in this life, he shares his house, plus 12 centers, all around the world with hundreds of people staying or living there. And the number of centers keeps increasing as we speak.

4. Just like in that life, in this life, too, Mohanji takes care of the most vulnerable and abandoned by society. Through food, clothing, shelter, or even helping people who are emotionally broken – he takes care of everybody. Many people who connected to Mohanji in this life came to him emotionally broken, that’s not news. He healed many people’s emotional wounds and gave them an inner sanctuary by making them internally stable to handle life smoothly. In that life, he gave comfort and healing to dozens – in this life, to thousands.

The memory of this life taught me just how deeply karma carries over. So many things have roots in the past, nothing in this life is random.

People who stay at Mohanji centers sometimes forget that this is Mohanji’s. The comfort that we get there cannot be gotten in many ashrams, with many masters. Many masters don’t tolerate many things that Mohanji tolerates, and many masters are not as patient as Mohanji is – but I should talk about that in my next blog.

The train station: When He had to leave

When I began serving Mohanji as his personal assistant in this life, a heavy fear started to awaken in me: that he might leave, die or disappear suddenly. That fear haunted me. It took years to release, like peeling layers off an onion.

To someone, it may sound ridiculous that a past life can influence you so much. That’s what I thought too, until it happened to me. Past life memories can be more impactful and controlling than you may think. They can shape our life completely. What you think is yours, achieved by you, developed by you (including your patterns, fears, phobias, relationships) – they are all carried from the past. Nothing can be called as completely “new” in this life.

One particularly intense moment of a past life influencing my current life happened during a global retreat in Bosnia. I had a broken leg and couldn’t attend most of the program events. While the group went to visit the Bosnian pyramids with Mohanji, I stayed behind in Mohanji’s apartment, surrounded by comfort and kindness, in his personal space – but I couldn’t enjoy it. My fear consumed me.

I heard Mohanji getting ready to leave, I heard his footsteps from another room, and the fear cut me like a knife. I rushed on crutches to catch him, because a feeling told me he’s leaving forever. At that moment, while running on my crutches, I had a flashback, a past life memory.

I saw myself as a man in his 50s, running after Mohanji who was an old man, probably in his 80s. We were at a train station. Mohanji was boarding the train. I was trying to catch up, running with a broken leg on crutches, just like in this life. I was calling his name, trying to stop him from going, but he couldn’t hear me. He entered the train and left. I never saw him again in that life.

Back in the present, I reached the elevator of the hotel just in time before he left. Mohanji and Devi stood near the elevator. Mohanji looked at me with a soft smile and asked me, “How are you?” I was internally broken and consumed by fear. I said I felt a huge discomfort in my stomach, a deep fear. I didn’t tell him about the vision yet, because I wasn’t sure what just happened – it was too much at that moment. He turned to Devi and asked her to do a Mai-Tri session for me, focused on my stomach.

Later, I told him the full vision. He explained that it was a long time ago, and in that life, he had to leave. It wasn’t connected to me, but he simply needed to go. He assured me many times that this life is completely different, and that he wouldn’t leave the body until I was fulfilled and steady. He promised I would always have a space with him, even after his death. For many years, I didn’t believe him despite many proofs and despite knowing that everything he says is always 100% true, because the fear was stronger than my logic. It took me time to bring my focus back to this life, to understand that I have him in this life fully. He gave me everything and more.

For as long as I had that fear, I didn’t have Mohanji or experience Mohanji fully. When I lost that fear, every experience with him became rich and complete. I, too, became complete, in a way.

Another memory of the past came briefly, almost like a flash: I saw Mohanji, as a child, dying in my arms. I don’t know who I was or what the circumstances were. I only remember holding him, seeing his face soft and pure, and feeling an unspeakable grief. That memory left behind a trace of sadness in my heart, as if I carried an echo of that loss even in this life.

Maybe these two lives are why I used to fear he would leave. As I said, nothing we feel happens just like that. Everything has some root and reason. My past life memories proved that to me.

Through these experiences, I learned a lot about how karma works, and how strongly it can influence people. People are expressing their karma helplessly, every minute, whether they like it or not. And it’s visible to everybody outside, no matter how hard we try to mask it.

Mohanji as a monk

Some memories came to me gently, like a whisper carried in the wind. Others arrived like a wave crashing through everything I thought I knew. They weren’t always clear or easy to accept. Some of them stayed with me in silence for a long time before I dared to speak.

There was also a vision of Mohanji as a monk. I saw that in many lifetimes, he was completely alone, far from people, choosing isolation over contact. He seemed peaceful and deeply detached from the world. I don’t know whether I was part of that story or just a witness to it. But it left me with the feeling that Mohanji has known lifetimes of aloneness, and that in this life, his presence among people is a rare gift.

For an introvert like him, it’s difficult to be among people who only want, demand, desire and expect. There is often a complete lack of purity and innocence in people today. That’s why Mohanji is so often misunderstood. His nature is unlike what society is used to. In a world where selflessness is rare, and most interactions come with expectations, someone who wants nothing from you can seem suspicious. So we dismiss them, assuming they must be fake. We think everybody wants something from us – because that’s how the world is today. Anybody and anything can be fake if we don’t understand them. Today, our capacity to understand is so low.

Motherly connection

I’ve also experienced a motherly connection to Mohanji. I never told it to Mohanji directly, nor I claim it to be true, but interestingly, he called me the “universal mother” multiple times to other people, as well as “the mother of 8 billion people”. That was very funny. I wrote about this in my book, and I consider it as his way of bringing out the best version of me, which is service to humanity, as well as seeing everybody as my own children.

Interestingly, Mohanji also once mentioned to others about me, “She sometimes warns me about who is not good for me.”😂 He said it a few times through a smile.

I never explicitly said to Mohanji verbally that I didn’t like somebody he met, or that he shouldn't meet somebody, but there was one particular incident. A certain Swami was supposed to meet Mohanji, but everything in me resisted this Swami. I felt no lightness around that person, only heaviness, arrogance, and a lack of innocence. Even his personal assistant felt too arrogant. There was a distinct difference between his assistant and Mohanji’s assistants. Mohanji’s assistants displayed utmost humility. I didn’t voice it directly, but I hoped with all my heart that the meeting wouldn’t happen.

Anyway, the Swami did meet Mohanji. The meeting was okay, but I could still feel something wrong about him. I couldn’t understand why he is even called a Swami.

A few years later, he publicly disrespected Mohanji at a Peace Conference in Rome. One of our companions from Mohanji’s personal team, Barbara, witnessed this and was deeply hurt by the Swami’s arrogance towards Mohanji. Devi also witnessed it. Despite the offense, Mohanji insisted that Swami be offered a ride to the airport, because he didn’t have his own car. Mohanji instructed Barbara (who was there to serve Mohanji) to drive the Swami and Swami’s somebody in Mohanji’s personal car. Barbara was almost angry that Mohanji was so kind to somebody who disrespected him. But, one who understands and loves Mohanji cannot say no to him, so Barbara drove them despite her personal feelings. Mohanji insisted on kindness. He said that just because someone shows their darkness doesn’t mean we stop being kind. He said we should never compromise on kindness.

I wasn’t there in Rome to witness this, but when I heard that this was the same Swami I didn’t like, I was super annoyed – mildly put. But again, as a representative of Mohanji, I wouldn’t have acted on my feelings, because that is not our tradition. Our tradition is that of respect and kindness. Yet, of course, nobody should be a doormat if somebody assaults us, especially physically. Swami did nothing but vomit some words, which is, in fact, harmless. Harmful to him, yes, but not to us.

My point is, Mohanji doesn’t feel anything about people’s rudeness. It’s their choice. It’s almost as if he says, through his own actions, “Forgive them, for they do not know what they are doing.” They are very irrelevant anyway.

Mohanji heard my thoughts about this Swami and said to others that I sometimes tell him who is not right for him. I indeed told him, internally.😂 There were, perhaps, a few more instances🙈 But it was very funny the way he heard it and commented. My overprotective nature for Mohanji sometimes goes beyond limits.

My heart is genuinely hurt when Mohanji’s time is wasted on irrelevant people. On the other hand, my heart is full when he gives time to those who are sincere, pure, selfless, who love Mohanji and who consider him as their priority. Somebody who considers Mohanji as their priority will also be my priority, because I know such people are very pure and they only care about others’ well being.

Lessons learnt

Each of these memories carries a lesson, not just of who he was or who I may have been, but of what still lives today. They are not memories I claim with pride or entitlement. I don’t consider myself special. I received what was shown to me, and I share it only because it speaks of something greater: the depth of connection, the web of karma, and the precision of karmic timing.

These memories have taught me humility and a reverence for the grace that brought me to Mohanji, again.

Concluding points:

1. Everything has a root in the past

Whether we see the root or not, it exists. Almost all the people who are around Mohanji have some past with him. It’s foolish to judge anybody based on anything, because we don’t even know our own past, let alone that of others.

2. Knowing Mohanji is never accidental

If you have heard of or met Mohanji in this life, it is not by chance. There are no coincidences in the spiritual path. His presence is a result of karma or your craving.

3. We have no control over karmic patterns

We are helplessly expressing our past and karmic patterns, and it shows in our life. Whether we accept it or not, whether we like it or not, everything we are today has a root in the past. Everything is a product of something from the past. There is nothing we can call as completely new and fresh in this life.

4. You are likely to share past lives with Mohanji too

It is said that everybody who meets Mohanji and is close to him, 90% of them share past lives with him, and that usually needs some kind of sorting in this life. For example:

1) Some people had unfulfilled desires related to Mohanji in their past lives. In this life, they have been brought to him so those desires can be exhausted and resolved.

2) Some people who once betrayed Mohanji in the past lives have met him again in this life to resolve that karma, so they can move on free from the baggage of betrayal – because every act of betrayal leaves a karmic weight behind. I’ve written before about one of Mohanji’s past lives, where a woman betrayed him, and how, in this life, he lovingly allowed her the chance to come to him and resolve that karma. Resolving the karma of betrayal is the most important step for those who have committed it. If left unresolved, it can follow a soul for lifetimes, never letting them be free. Mohanji allowed this person to return and he cleansed that karma for her, which is a profound act of compassion by him. Many masters or people wouldn’t do it. I have written that story as a blog, and you can read it here: A vision of Mohanji’s past life: Manage betrayals in a mature way.

3) Thirdly, there are people who don’t necessarily have a past with Mohanji, but they came to the level of deserving an avatar’s presence in their life. Or they originate from different worlds, higher worlds, or different eras, and they need help to go back to their original home. Mohanji has no obligation to cater to all these three categories of people – 1), 2) and 3) , but he does, giving away a lot of time and energy.