Dear friends, I appreciate the time you take to read these. Today I will share what my 2021 resolution was, and how Mohanji fulfilled a part of it by the end of the year.
I started the year of 2021 by saying, “In this year, I want to beat all patterns and be Mohanji”. What are patterns? That which pulls you down when you try to rise. Mind is our biggest limit, and its fuel are emotions and patterns. And what is Mohanji? Mohanji is power. He is conviction in action. He is dedication without expectation. He is selfless surrender. He is clear. He is pure. He has no pattern nor emotion. He has only clarity and compassion. He is not a person or a personality.
I affirmatively repeated “I WANT TO BE MOHANJI” many times. I was clear in what I wanted. While saying that, confidently standing in front of my altar where Mohanji's picture was, with my fists held strongly and a lion heart roaring from my chest, I said I will never again stop fighting for a mind free of garbage. I will never again lose the opportunity to reach the highest with my guide by my side. People ask why we need guides - there is no why, in reality, we don't need anything. But a guide is the extension of you, and if you have him/her, it means you earned it. It’s the next step that comes automatically. Existence brings to you everything you need in each moment. Trust that existence.
Mohanji has always held me against all odds. Whenever I don't see Him physically for many months, I look back and see He's been with me all along, invisibly. Results in real life show it.
Empowered 1.0, Empowered 2.0, and Mohanji's overall support got me back to the gym to jog my way towards success. I didn't expect too much from myself, but I persisted and jogged daily.
Since I know Mohanji, He has been guiding me to jog and exhaust my physical body as a part of my spiritual practice. He has been saying that this will bring me to the state of meditation. As some probably know from the Empowered 2.0 where Mohanji explained it in detail, meditation is not an activity, it is a state that you reach to. Especially in the era of Kali (Kali Yuga) which we currently live in, sometimes the time is too fast to sit and meditate. Meditation as an activity had more value in other eras, which were a bit slower and calmer. The atmosphere was suitable for sitting meditation. In this era, which is so fast that it sometimes confuses us, other things play more important roles for our elevation - positive action, service to the needy, or even chanting the sacred mantras in Sanskrit, which brings us to alignment faster than meditation. Atmosphere changes over time to give us different experiences. Eras have been shifting from the beginning of time.
Every day in the gym I jog for 40 minutes without breaks, but every day gives a different experience. Thick metal frames of my mind were broken as if made out of glass with the touch of awareness. Touch of awareness of the awareness incarnate. How? When I thought I had limits, when I thought I couldn’t do it, or “let me shorten the workout just this one time”, He gave me unbelievable horsepower to prove to me that I can. I have said before that Mohanji is a chain breaker, and I didn't say it without experiencing it first.
I had never been too fond of sports, and in 2018, from being able to jog for two minutes before getting tired, He gave me the power to jog for one hour without breaks, every day, until I injured my leg in Bosnia. Nobody could believe where I got this strength from, because before, I used to get tired only climbing the stairs.
This year, I didn't get back to my jogging duration of one hour from 2018, but I accepted my current capacity with gratitude, and every day He gives me strength to take higher steps. He never lets me fall or stagnate. But at the same time He accepts us the way we are. It's difficult to explain Mohanji for those who haven't experienced Mohanji. To know Him, you need to experience Him.
Here are some of the valuable experiences that He gave me in the gym.
Gym experience 1
A few days ago, towards the end of 2021, I was on my periods, but I still decided to jog, even though Mohanji recommends resting during periods because the body is undergoing a cleansing work. This time, I felt it was important to do it, otherwise I also don’t recommend it.
That workout was so hard for me. I have jogged on periods before, and I never felt as horrible as I felt that day. I felt so weak, nervous, I wanted to stop many times, but I kept bringing my focus back on purpose. When I finished, I felt huge heaviness in uterus, 2-3 times beyond the size of the uterus, like an ocean contained in one drop. I felt that Mohanji unlocked it while I was jogging, and that He started an important transformation in me. I had a very uncomfortable and sensitive feeling in the uterus for a few hours after that, I couldn't walk well and while walking, it felt as if I had an open surgery going on in my uterus.
Gym experience 2
The following story explains what I gained with the “uterus” experience and more about the binding patterns.
Music has always been important for my workouts. If I don't have earphones or my phone is not charged, I can’t jog. Thankfully, Mohanji has always helped me with everything I needed and made the environment support me.
Ever since 2018 when I first joined the gym under Mohanji's guidance (when I used to run one hour daily), my habit has been to shift the songs constantly while jogging, because I felt so restless. I liked jogging, but the process was often hard and boring. Patterns choked me.
Many small things bothered me or made me want to quit. Some songs didn't inspire me so I'd change them. Some were too slow so I'd change them. Some were too boring. In normal circumstances, I loved these songs, but restlessness made me hate most of them. I was taming my mind like a wild animal, giving it what it wanted. In the midst of it, something happened.
After that heaviness left my uterus, for the first time ever I no longer needed to control the songs like before. Restlessness reduced. Resistance to physical activity, which was very intense in 2018, also reduced.
I felt less controlled by my mind. I no longer give up on things because of comfort zones. I don't like comfort zones as much as before. I felt I no longer differentiate that much between the things I like and don't like to do. I do what I need to do and I complain less.
Only two days before the new year, I felt helpless, lazy and I wanted to stop jogging again. I felt weak. Hanumanji-like determination stronger than ever suddenly flooded my body.
Flashback to my earlier connection to Hanumanji: Hanumanji is a Hindu God famous for his faith, dedication, determination, persistence and devotion to his guide. Without doing any particular spiritual practice, just connecting to his guide as the source of his strength, from a regular human being, he became a God. Today we respect him for his unshakable determination. Three years ago, in 2019, I asked Mohanji to make me Hanumanji to Him, in the same way Hanumanji was to Ram (Hanumanji’s guide). He blessed me and said, “Tatashthu” (eng. “So be it.”). I said this out of pure heart, and I held no expectations.
A wave of awareness filled my body with strength. “Even if I stop jogging now, where will I go? Home? Whatever productive I do at home, it still means giving up on this. Escapism. I no longer want to give up on one thing, thinking I will succeed in something else. No. I accept everything. I face everything. Through jogging, I am reaching Mohanji. That’s the only thing I want from this life.”
These were not words, they were feelings. I didn't invent it, it happened to me. It felt like a glass full of shining liquid of strength was poured into my transparent body. I was the same shell, but I wasn't the same from inside.
Conclusion
Mohanji was beating my patterns by taking me beyond, closer and closer to patternless existence.
Mohanji says, “We have taken lifetimes which gets eclipsed when we take each new body. This adds to our illusion that we are this personality. This is controlled almost helplessly by compelling patterns. These patterns somehow bring the same effects life after life. It is difficult to beat patterns.
Patterns behave exactly like Satan. Patterns cause prejudices, concepts, expectations of terrestrial nature, corresponding disappointments, anger, hatred, jealousy and even revenge which pulls down one's consciousness lower and lower systematically which means many many more births.”
Mohanji says that many healers confuse between entities and patterns, because patterns can be horribly poisonous. Patterns are like surgically implanted organs which we need to remove from us, stitch by stitch. It hurts and that’s why people sometimes hate the guides whose job is to kill patterns.
Patterns get supported by energies of similar nature, that’s also why they are sometimes mistaken for entities.
Becoming Mohanji means a pattern-less existence. I couldn't believe He made so much of this desire come true in just one year. Drinking, smoking, doing only what we like to do, always choosing familiar foods, always getting angry over the same thing, living in comfort zones, not daring to act, living in fears, are all patterns. These are some of the most obvious ones, but there are many more, and sometimes it’s impossible to spot a pattern because they disguise behind the coat of truth. As I said, they are like carefully implanted organs, like a few drops of poison in food. You can’t see it, but it’s deadly.
Somebody like Jesus never happens twice in one's life. A guide is so rare to find. There are many teachers who teach philosophy. Talk philosophy. There are very few transformers. Transformers are the people who have found God. They take you higher when you only connect to them, they need no words.
Mohanji has always given more than what words can achieve. One example of how He broke one of my patterns is when He made me speak in front of a camera to pluck out the fear of public speaking. Another example is when I needed to get up around 4 AM every day when I was His personal attendant, for months, and that was hell of a pattern-breaker for me. Another time, He guided me to tell something embarrassing to certain people, because that was creating blockages in me. Another time He tested my conviction through my parents, family, friends, to see how strong I am in some of my decisions. He destroyed a pattern of staying passive, and made me face criticism. He also made me join the gym a few times, when I wanted to stay lazy the most. I searched for many excuses to keep my patterns, and the excuses seemed logical, but they were escapism. We can’t see that often, but true transformers make us see.
Mohanji also says,
“Purpose over patterns is one in a million possibility. If we concentrate on purpose more than our person, we can reach great heights. God always gives us opportunities to break our patterns and catch God. But we are so habitually bound to patterns that we don't even take that offer. A master, or guide who has found God is sent by destiny to escape from patterns. People crucify the guide and marry the patterns. This is a big mistake. Even God is missed along with the opportunity to delete patterns and more births happen.”
Be strong, be pattern-free, be happy!
Lots of love to all.
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